Thursday, May 31, 2007

Volta-- What do we think?

Medulla and Volta were recorded back to back, and it really feels like they are brother and sister. Medulla, for its reputation for being so crazy and getting middle 'Merica out of their comfort zone, had some of the most pop cuts of Bjork's entire career. But, it turns out, Volta has no catchy hooks, no seductive grooves. The problem was with our expectations. With Timbaland pooping out beats and by the record label's top brass was saying how it was her most commercial album yet, we expected something different.

So what do you guys think?


Why I Love BBC America...

Zoe Lucker as Tanya Turner in Footballers Wive$
Delicious Bitch
Jonas Armstrong as Robin of Locksley in Robin Hood
Medieval Cupid
John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness
in Doctor Who and Torchwood
Intergalactic Hunk

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Britney Suicide Watch

From her recent Letter of Truth:
"I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.
Love, Britney"

yikes. No retarded Timbaland beat or a phone-in from is going to fix this. Dunzo.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Brokeback Dagobah System

Han and Lando finally celebrate the long awaited legalization of interspace gay marriage.

Oh, and Star Wars is 30 years old this week.

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Shear Genius

I spent about 6 hours on Monday nursing a hangover, and watching the most retarded and therefore awsomest reality show evah, Shear Genius. My fave episode would probably be episode 3, where the contestents learned the "Sally Shag" as made famous by Meg Ryan.

The contestents all shit their pants when Sally Furburger (or whatever her name is) pooped out a 15 minute 600 (!!) dollar haircut, as if they were being shown the secrets to cold fusion. Don't you just take a razor and kind of make it all dykey and messy? Oops! There I go, spillin' the beans on the Sally Shag.


I realized while watching that Jaclyn Smith has gotten possibly even more hotter with age.

While, our Farrah... well Farrah. you know.

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I can't believe that Charles Nelson Reilly is ________


Do You Think He is a Top or Bottom?

Comedy Central is in talks to produce an animated program called "Gay Robot." I am not kidding about this one.

According to the press release, "Gay Robot" tells the story of a robot who turns out gay after his designer accidentally spilled a wine cooler on his circuits. BRILLIANT!

God, I loved wine coolers in my younger days. Does that mean I am a gay robot?


Friday, May 25, 2007

I have been so good on my diet this week, that I decided to treat myself to a tiny reward. Don't worry, I WARSHED it down with a diet coke.

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Who's ready to have some fun IML sex on grandma's four poster bed?

What do you think those tassels smell like?

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Memorial Day Weekend Happy Dance!


Thursday, May 24, 2007


Let me tell you about it. And by "it" I mean "tit". And by "tit" I mean "my tit". But how great is Niecey flashing her right one at the Drive Thru. And I SWEAR that's at the McDonald's on Wilson by my house.

Actually, I was promoted to Creative Director at the ad agency I work for. Jealous? A-what-what! (HEYYY!)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Paula Abdul Trips Over Dog In Her LA Home

Joyce Carol Oates Was Her Houseguest (Rim Shot)

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The Cannes Film Festival

The 2007 Cannes Film Festival is under way and already there is some early buzz on front runners for the much-coveted Palme D'Or. Here are some pics of the stand-outs at this year's event:

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

New phone is here!

Friends, could you please send me a text with just your name so I can progrum you?


Sunday, May 20, 2007

Jennifer Juggs Hewitt

I know you are all ambivalent about youtube clips, but this one is a stitch.

It is a Mad TV spoof on Jennifer (g)Love Hewitt's "Ghost Whisperer."

The post should also be labeled: "The Boob Whisperer."

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Sorry Sarah... just one more, mmmmmmkay???

Saturday, May 19, 2007

What are you guys doin tonight????

My Date Last Night kinda blew up

Friday, May 18, 2007

Thanks for your patience.... i'm a little ReRe

Thank you to Noah, Scott, Pat and the rest of the orphans at Mrs. Hannigan's for being so patient as I learn how to markie post

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More More More... how do you like it how do you like it?

When you Care Enough to Send the Very Breast

some of my favorite new "e-cards"

Cher on a really cheap set singing My Heart Belongs To Daddy

What this song has to do with being a horny Inuit is not for us to know. That is the brilliance of the Cher/Mackie team.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007


You're welcome, sweet-zies!

But where do you think THEY found it?


This helped me cross Lake Shore Drive!

This was sent to me by my friend Kelly Beck. I totally want to use it on Michigan Avenue so I can get to the Banana Republic sales faster. Plus, I love the warning! Those Asians are so clever...

The tyranny of the automobile makes life increasingly tough for pedestrians, and finding a safe place to cross can result in inconvenient diversions and wasted time. Now the pedestrian can fight back. When you've found the crossing point that best suits you, simply roll out the the Portable Zebra Crossing in front of you and cross confidently and in safety at your own pace.

Warning: on busy roads where there is no break in the oncoming traffic, attempting to roll out the Portable Zebra Crossing can be hazardous.


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An Uncanny Resemblance.

Who's prettier?
Was Grampa Simpson's character based on oldzees Barbara Bush?
Is this a coincidence?
SO many questions unanswered!

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Electronics are like Kleenex to me. Yes, I lost my cellphone. I know. Its retarded. So, for those who call or text me I'll be incomunicado for a while. so email me and junk or call Devzies.

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Want to Know What Gets Between Aretha and Her Calvins?

I really don't know. I am stumped on this one.
Tell us - what gets between Aretha and her Calvins?
Thanks to Ben for sending us this shot.

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Eliza Dolittle Gets The Boot on American Idol

Or was it Melinda Dolittle? I always get those two confused.

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What I'm wearing at the Wonka Ball tonight:

If you live in Chicago, you may know about About Face Theatre's annual benefit, The Wonka Ball (

About Face Theatre creates exceptional, innovative, and adventurous plays to advance the national dialogue on gender and sexual identity, and to challenge and entertain audiences in Chicago, across the country, and around the world.

If you haven't seen one of their shows, they are fantastic!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The best dancer at St. Bernadette's...with the worst reputation!

Super fierce congratulations to Jaslene for winning this season's America's Next Top Model! I've loved Cha Cha from the start and was thrilled when she beat that mail order bride. Felicitaciones!

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DAMN [Shaniqua] those artificial flavors are good

I friggin' LOVE Wonka's Stretchy & Tangy Laffy Taffy (esPECIALLY Sammy Strawberry)! AND they have the BEST jokes!
So if YOU'RE so effing smart, answer me THESE three questions....

1. What do a referee and the seven dwarfs have in common?
2. If April showers bring May flowers then what do May flowers bring?
3. What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

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Breaking News: Judi Dench Takes Umbrage

Tell us -- what is she so vexed about?

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Croque Monsieur Anyone?

Seriously though, Rev. Jerry Falwell just bit the dust.
Corpsin' it up a GOOD one!
Au revoir poopy head!

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Don't get me Started! Right, ladies?

Jeannie Darcy, one of my favorite Molly Shannon characters, made a comeback last Saturday and I was just tickled! I was glad to see that Mary Catherine Gallagher AND Sally O'Malley (with camel-toe in tow) both made an appearance as well. I miss her! Don't get me started. Or should I say DO get me started!

Bob Barker Wants You To Pull His Finger

Celebrating 50 Years of Sexual Harassment

I know that this headline is a fall-back for me. I was going to title the post: "Bob Barker Points To The Barker Beauty Whose Ass He Wants To Tap."

But that felt kind of wordy.

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Monday, May 14, 2007

My $100,000 Post (again, Markie Post).

My favorite part is when Markie wastes 10 seconds by saying "uh" over and over. And I love her gold lamé jean jacket.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Ashley Judd finally expands her oeuvre in upcoming "Bug".

Breaking out of her usual white-trash-woman-in-peril role, she stretches her acting chops and plays a white-trash-woman-in-peril-who-also-has-morgellons-disease. I smell a Clio!!


Thursday, May 10, 2007

I wish they had this class at MY Crunch!

Thought this spot was tote hilare. And dig those hot moves!

Wait, WHY the hell can't Americans go to Cuba again?!

I am all for obeying the law (kind of) and agree Michael Moore prolly should have gone through the proper channels to go to Cuba, but why the f*** are we still not allowed to go to Cuba? America truly is retarded.

Article Here

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British Prime Minister Tony Blair Announces That He Is Stepping Down

Story HERE
In related news, Liza Minnelli Announces That She is Stepping Out

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