Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Showgirls 2: LA

I have this great idea. Picture it-- Showgirls 2 (... Showgirls Too: the Wreckening??? we'll workshop the title...)

(mmmm... sooo greazy)

Ok, so here's the story. Nomie flees Vegas right? She heads straight to LA to pitch her crazy life story be made into a movie. Now, the instinct here is to go campy, but trust me it will be way better if everyone is deadly serious. Ok, so she's in LA, and convinces MGM top brass to greenlight this puppy (through her feminine wiles of course ... she just fucks the shit out of him in the hollywood hills or something) and then casting begins for her movie, which will be called Showgirls. The cast of the original movie returns and plays themselves (yay! Gina Gershon will have some work!), and she works *ahem* very closely with the engenue who will play Nomi. There will be this ultra hot lezbo scene where Nomi has sex with "Nomi" on set. Nomi becomes more and more jealous of "Nomi's" attention, and decides the day of shooting (which happens to be the most expensive and elaborate scene) she wants to star in her own movie and pushes "Nomi" down a giant marble staircase. They take a gamble and hire Nomi.

my idea for Showgirls 2: A+

Meet Terri

She looks nice and cuddly on the outside.
But Terri kicks it old skool with her led primary series Ashtanga class. Shes more like:

Mixed with:

I've, by far, learned the most from her and she brings out the best in me. Its kind of weird, like im her little yogi bottom and she tells me what to do and i get off on it a little. In Mysore India, the Ashtanga series is prescribed series for a reason, and it does not stray. It doesn't mean there isn't time for giggles, but on the mat she means bidness. Terri is like a little slice of Mysore right here in Chicago.

Terri- A+

Monday, November 28, 2005


I had a fantastic Thanksgiving vacay. Lots of napping, and I'm not a huge napper.

[update: who am i kidding? im totally a napper.]
napping- A

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Britney bounds to Broadway

(I frickin' love Rich Man's Frug!!)

[This is kind of counterpoint to Naive Helga's post--see link if you havent although i think we all just read each other's blogs in kind of a circle-jerk type manner, not that there's anything wrong with that]
So Britney is in "deep" talks about taking over the lead in Sweet Charity. Couple disclaimers here. I don't like this musical (it has its moments, when the stupid plot halts so the cast can shimmy and slither in some of Fosse's best work), and well, there's Britney. Yes she's trash. Yes she's married to a skeez. Yawn! Who cares? This girl has been entertaining since the womb, and she is going to rock. Especially since she doesn't have to sing a) all that much or b) all that good. Go 'head Brit, work it out! mm kay!

Britney as Charity- A

Monday, November 21, 2005

Nerd Alert: Mario Kart DS

I was just playing this over local wi-fi with a coworker. Plain n' simple, it rules. There was a course that was a 3D update of an original Mario Kart course from 13 years ago, complete with original music, which melts my heart. Sigh.

Nerd Alert Factor: 8.5 (out of 10)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Hi I'm Jayla

(Special guest contributor Jayla)
I totally b3at that alcoholic biznach Lisa! And these are my teeth!! lol!1!1! DonT TH3Y roool!?

Lisa gets canned

Don't get me wrong. Lisa is super annoying and I hate her. When she got kicked off on Wednesday I felt, well, empty. What? What is going on here? It turns out I guess I really loved her this whole time. I mean look:

She lost to this:

Dear Jayla, your teeth are like orange tic-tacs.

I seriously do not understand ANTM logic.

Lisa getting canned- D

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Stuff on my desk-- 1. autographed Yaya model card

Signed by the one, the only, America's Next Top Model winner (ok, she didn't win, she was the runner up) Yaya DeCosta! This is going to sound gross and name droppy, BUT, a producer at my company had a go-see with her and actually had her CALL me!! She was totally gracious and super nice. They kind of painted her out to be a know-it-all bitch on the show, but I think it was all editing. Not that she would tell me to respect everyone in Portuguese or anything (" we need more 'res-PAY-ato' in this house girls").

signed Yaya model card- A

Monday, November 14, 2005

some fucker stole my back tire

(picture is of my bike, with missing back tire)

I don't have much money right now because of school, so this really sucks. I should've locked it up better, so its my fault, but it still really really sucks. Do you understand the suckage factor on this? hey fucker, enjoy your out of true back tire!

the fuck who stole my tire- F

Nerd Alert

Nintendo's wi-fi service went live today at McDonald's around the US, and this is a picture of me at the press event. I thought for sure I'd get some swag, but all I got was a lame press kit. Ronald McDonald fucking freaks my shit out. I don't know why, but I keep thinking about using a greasy cold fry as a stylus on the touch screen of my DS and it makes me shudder.

Nerd Alert Factor: 7 (out of ten)

[UPDATE! as featured in kotaku.com-- http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/mario/mario-and-ronald-together-at-last-137154.php and infendo.com http://infendo.blogspot.com/2005/11/nintendomacdonalds-wifi-launch.html IM A WHORE]

Sunday, November 13, 2005

wet cat

(not actual cat)

My roommate's cat loves is super fascinated with the shower. He actually hops in and gets wet. But then it acts sad and ashamed that its wet. Well don't get in Mr Kitty! The only time it really behaves is when its wet. Its super naughty. It all like, purrs n' shit and then bites your face or whatever is available. BAD KITTY! And it never really learned how to eat right. It makes these weird suckling noises. So nast.

Kitty- D-
Kitty when wet- C

Friday, November 11, 2005

Tara Reid's Ass

Woooo!! This ass is the culmination of years of neglect and abuse. No, she's not a huge porker or anything, but this ass is nast. Its like, sweety, you don't need to double fist the hurricanes. Lets put down the 4am burrito, and do some yoga.

Tara's ass- D-

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Mah man (100th post!!)

Meet Devin. He's my boyfriend. He's super sweet, and totally hot, and gets me inspired and off my ass. Super ambitious this guy. I wouldn't be in yoga teaching school without him.
He's a super great cook, although it really annoys me he doesn't eat onions. I mean, ever. He just can't eat onions. But he likes garlic, which I find odd. He makes this Japanese noodle dish which im totally craving right now. He's an amazing yogi too. Also? Fantastic sex. Yay!

Devin- A (no A+ because of the onion thing)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

money worries

Yeah im kind of stressed. Kind of overdrawn and junk.

money worries- D

Monday, November 07, 2005

Mario Kart DS

Super excited for this!! Next week this game comes out, and it will be online! Free! Nintendo has hotspots all over the city, unfortunately at the moment, they are only located at McDonalds. So, I'll have to take McFlurry/Mario Kart break during the day and get my butt whooped by Japanese school kids a half a world away. Hopefully I'll be able to get a wi-fi signal here at work so I won't have to even leave. That would rule.

online Mario Kart- A+

Bhum Bhumyai

In yoga school last week we were chanting "bhum bhumyai" to stimulate our first chakra. Its pronounced "boom", and when I think of boom, I think of going number 2. The first chakra is located near the base of the paraneum (that would be your bunghole kids) so, I suppose that's appropriate.

singing about boom- A

Confessions on a Dancefloor

(Special guest contributor Britney Spears)
Hey Y'all! Madonna is like totally my good friend and mentor (she got me into Kaballah and junk) so I'm really excited to review her new CD. Um, its pretty good. I'd like to make some music someday but im super busy being a mommy!! Its hard and junk! I have to tell my nanny what to all day and stuff! My hubby K-fed is really excited too! He celebrates every night with his friends at the clubs.

Confessions on a Dancefloor- C+

Confessions on a Dancefloor

(Special guest contributor Olivia)
Hey you guys! This is a pretty good album! Its great to work out to, although I prefer her older stuff. Like a Prayer is totally my favorite, I mean you can't really beat Express Yourself. Do I believe in love? You betchya!
I don't really get a lot of what she's talking about in this CD, and please take off that retarded Kabalah bracelet.

Confessions on a Dancefloor- B

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Confessions on a Dancefloor

The song Hung Up is false advertising, if you thought Madonna was going to bop around singing about nothing you might be disapointed. This album is dark. It makes you feel like you are in the back room at the Eagle at 4am, being way too drunk, and doing blow off of somebody's cock... OR SO I'VE HEARD. No, really it sounds like a sweaty gay circuit party. Meth is death people!! Be carefull!
I was expecting some soaring choruses and tingly Ray of Light moments, but she's really here to dance and grooves along without too many obvious hooks. I think its really going to grow on me.
Standout Tracks:
Future Lovers-- yummy update to Donna Summer's insane I Feel Love's synchopated bass
Jump-- One of the more hooky tracks. I want to dance with many sweaty people to this.

Confessions on a Dance Floor- B+

Confessions on a Dancefloor leaked

Hey, Im totally listening to the new Madonna album. I feel kind of bad like I opened all my presents on Christmas Eve. Its pretty good... I'll grade it when im done listening.

getting the new Madonna album early- B+

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

ANTM theme song

Oh America's Next Top Model, I love thee so much. I just found out that the awesome opening song is Tyra singing (the insipid Na Na Na's and her slutty, "Do you want to be on top") and also, it was created by crapfactory, Dark Child. Man, I can't believe Shake Ya Body tanked so hard. Sad. Triple threat she is not, unless of course you take into consideration her gigantor knockers.

ANTM theme song - B+

K-fed's new leaked single

Ok, first of all, all you hatahs out there can just zip it for a minute. K-fed is HOT. He is not dirty and gross. Ok, he's not gross. To me. Whatever. His new single was leaked. (huh huh, "leaked").
Y'all ready for "Y'all Ain't Ready"? Holla!! Boo-ya! Etc.!!
K-fed's hotness- A+
Y'all Aint Ready the song- C+

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Going on a date

(Special guest contributor Tech Steve)
Its me! Steve!

Special shout out to Noah for letting me post on his blog. I Just want to thank him for setting me up on a date with this lady:

That's Olivia! She's posted on this blog too! She seems really great, she works out a lot (unless you count going to all night LAN parties as a work out, count me out :-P), and loooves Mongolian BBQ (I'm more of a Fazoli's kind of guy, but hey, I'm flexible). I'm kind of nervous, so if you guys have dating tips, let me know! The corsage is ordered, and I got her a set of candles because she mentioned she likes taking baths after her cardio at Curves and likes those Reese's Swoops.

Going on a date with Olivia- A

p.s. 1100101011100101010100111110000 (binary code... i know corny joke I just can't help myself!)


(Special guest contributor Olivia)
Hey you guys! I don't usually get art and stuff but I saw this painting at my gym, Curves, and I really liked it!

Isn't it neat! It really sums up the feeling I get after I'm on the stairmaster for EVER! (5 minutes is a LONG time! shew!)

Art- A+!!
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