Monday, July 31, 2006

I Now Pronounce Your Juggs, Husband and Wife

This was her wedding outfit. Seriously.

Friday, July 28, 2006

It's going to be H-O-T this weekend...

...luckily, i just bought myself a fresh can of jeans!!

When I Grow Up I Wanna Get Hep C and Marry A Man Who Carries A Beer Can When We Go on Romantic Strolls

Pam -- you have a lot of nerve wearing that much white.


I'm doing some competetive eating to suppliment my yoga teaching income.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Mirror Has Two Faces

Is that Penny Marshall on steroids? Is that Sasquatch? No, it is Babs herself. I guess she picked the wrong face in the mirror.

She couldn;t even sing her way out of this one. Well, maybe, with People and that is it. Or the theme song from The Main Event. That was a delight.


How is that for an enticement?

It is time for the 2006 Podcast Awards!! On an awards scale that would have the Oscars at the High Class end and The Clios at the Low Class end, these podcast awards fall way below that. But being nominated for something is always fun.

And PNS Explosion was nominated in the LGBT category. Yay!

Please do as Madonna asks of you -- take a second to VOTE for PNS Explosion for Best LGBT Podcast. PLEASE ONLY VOTE ONCE A DAY.

The voting form can be found here:

I Think Keira Knightly Might Be A Lil Yucky-Yucks

C'mon, people! If we saw some average Joanna walking down the street in this, we would massacre her with our eyes. She would be dead-on-arrival. That belt dress is hideous on your body. You are skinny and odd -- we get it.

And don't even get me started about these feet. Honey, you are in two of the highest grossing films of all time, and you can't be bothered with shoes. Barefoot on the streets of London -- you are asking for infection.


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

This Just In - Kim Jong-il and Madeline Albright Are Dating

Oh Mad-a-rin! I ruv vu!

Are We Sure Lance is the Only Gay One?

Even Herb Ritts would think this pic is too gay!


Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Monday, July 24, 2006

Some pics from The Listener Party

These are some pics from our Listener Party at Spin on Friday. We had 50+ guests. Thanks to Spin and Peter Mavrik of Windy City Queercast for sponsoring the shin dig.

I could tell this party was a classy crowd, cuz no one tried to put a rufie in my drink.

Thanks to Greg and Abortion Annie for these photos.

Friday, July 21, 2006

What am I going to wear tonight...

Uh oh! Kathy Shart(ed).

thanks charlie!

Auf Wiedersehen

My last day at work! scary yet really fun too!

Are They For Reals?

The Sisters Duff in a movie together? With Anjelica Huston no less?

I have a feeling a new image will be taking over the top spot when you type in SHIT SAMMY to Google.

An Honest-To-God Headline on

"Dakota Fanning, 12, raped in her next film."

Whoa, I guess they are making a sequel to "Uptown Girls."

Topopo Salad

In college I was a line cook at a mexican restaurant called El Azteco in east lansing. While Scott was making like, 8 jillian dollars in tips over at the bar Spiral shaking his twink ass around, I was schlepping beans. The owner of El ASS was not only (allegedly) a hard core drug addict (oh the good times when he'd rush in all coked up and screaming) but also quite the inventor. What did he invent? Why, the BEAN GUN. It makes taco bell caulking system look positively primitive. It is a foot pedal controlled machine that shoots hot frijoles out at high speed. I know! So awsome right?
One of the most famous dishes was called the Topopo Salad which consisted of a layer of tortilla chips, beans from the bean gun, homeade quacamole, melted cheese, a huge heaping of a vinegret salad with peas, and all topped off with parmesan. "Wow", you're saying, "did that taste like dirty ass?" no, dear reader, it was heaven sent.
Interestingly, said dish was the catalyst of said bean shooter-- the owner needed a quick way to get an even layer of beans on the tricky chips.
here is the (allededly) drug addled owner with the Topoopoo.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Google images: "shit sammy"

The first image that pops up!

Turkey's Done

Alert: New episode of Entertainment Beat dropped

The ambitious, hilarious PNS favorite The Entertainment Beat has dropped a new 'sode. It only comes out about once every two weeks (he writes all of the episode, and does all the voices so it takes a while). Its a frothy, yummy, gay ambrosia and I can't get enough. Take a listen.

Did Jews Like My Vid-jo?

I worked real hard and junk on it. My Dad fought with the Director to show off my Pride and Joy (and by Pride and Joy, I mean my boobs). You can't see 'em in this photo, but they are there.
LOOK AT 'EM! LOOK! I am so fucking dumb. I think I have to tinkle.

Do I like this? I'm so confused and scared.

The "funny" parts fall really flat for me and just creep me out. She should stick to just showing her magnormous tits and budunka-dunks. Like daddy taught her.

spanks B!

P.S.- I guess this answers my, where is Christina Applegate question from before-- makin' some shit sammies.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Who Smells Worse?

In honor of their pending nuptials (or NIP-tials in this case), I thought I would ask this important question.

Do you think they will give Hep-C as a gift to their bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Kinkos hires Teri Schaivo to be new spokesperson in employee recruitment campaign.

(AP) In a move that surprised even Stephen Hawkings, Kinkos announced today they've hired Teri Shaivo (pictured) to be their new spokesperson for a campaign aimed at recruiting new employees. Neither camp would disclose how much it took for the woman famously known for such things as slobbering and saying "gggaaaaaaa," but a source close to the situation says that Kinkos knows she's worth every penny. A representative of the company had this statement:

We at Kinkos take pride that our employees are mindless, unavailable people. As our company continues to expand, we want to make sure we have the person representing us possesses all of the qualities we want our employees to possess. And with that, we're thrilled Teri could join us!

Game time! Who do you think she just went down on?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Ray-ray: Chop and drop your way into my heart.

Ok, so we all have a lot to discuss about Rachel Ray. I think I'm in the minority here, but I really like her. Sure sure, She has a really annoying laugh. she tips 15% on her 40 dollars a day show. She would be fucked without chicken broth in a box. And lets not forget her really really annoying laugh.

Cleaning dishes and junk makes me horny and stuff

That all said, I really love her! My jaw drops at least twice during a given show because she is so incredibly retarded. She says some of the most rediculous, wierd things such as "a garbage bowl is a girl's best friend", and "abbreviates" olive oil by saying "EEEVEE-OH-OH extra virgin olive oil" all without any irony. There's something about her that is really compelling, and i think its because she is probably exactly as she presents herself on TV. She keeps it real yo; she acts and says things that are retarded because she IS retarded. I have to love her for that.

I am pissed that Raven wasn't in it...

I know this is gonna sound skeezy, but I watched some of this movie last night. Has anyone seen (or heard) of it? It is a Disney movie musical that is getting TONS of attention. It gets about 14 billion tween viewers everytime it shows and it just got a bunch of Emmy nods.

I happened to be flipping thru the channels last night and caught the last 20 minutes of it. And I have to say that it was fun!

It is directed by Kenny Ortega who did the choreography for "Dirty Prancing" and "Xana-dont." So of course the dancing is off the hizz-ook. Some of these kids dance like they are dancing for their lives.

Check it out if you get the chance.

Busy Hands This Friday

Make sure you stop by Spin this Friday for our Listener Party.
My hands will be very busy.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Gay Games Opening Ceremonies

I went to the Gay Games Opening Ceremonies on Saturday. And I hate to say it -- but I was underwhelmed. For a ceremony planned by GLBT's for GLBT's, it was definitely not FABULOUS.

It clocked in at 4.5 hours. The celebs they had -- Megan Mullally, Margaret Cho, et. al. - were only on stage for moments. Megan Mullally literally read from a piece of paper. They had a ton of "talking heads" present awards and give speeches. Nobody gives a shit about the Exec Director or those types of people. Sorry, but it is true.

The best part -- seeing the thousands of athletes take the field. It was spectacular. And seeing that Jody Watley was still alive.

Did anyone else go? What are your thoughts?


I told this story an episode or two ago.
Devin got into a bike accident the day before pride. I got a call from someone saying that he got in an accident and I raced down to the scene as fast as I could. A bag he was carrying got caught in the front wheel and he flipped his bike and was not wearing a helmet. He was on a backboard and had a neckbrace on, and since the scalp bleeds like crazy, he looked like Holy Hell when I got there. Very scary.
Here is a picture from the emergency room.

Luckily, he did not lose consciousness, had no signs of concussion or serious neck/back injury. He did get 6 staples in his head, and we both certainly do not bike without helmets anymore.
We had a party planned that night, and that went ahead with drunken lezbo-titty-filled results.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Bitch, What is Your Problem?

I saw some more news on about Ms. Camp-hell:

"Supermodel Naomi Campbell, already facing court cases stemming from accusations that she assaulted two of her housekeepers, was sued on Thursday by a third employee who says the British-born beauty attacked her."

She is so nasty -- and not in the good way! What do you think Tyra thinks of all of this?

The Lovely "Ladies" of Hunters

Here they are -- the two draq queens we talked about on Today's show. They were spotted out at Hunter's -- a gay bar in the suburbs.

As Scott said, they look like they are wearing their wives' chemo wigs. Yikes!

But God love 'em. They are probably getting it more than I am. Do you think they have done it inside the bathrooms at NoMi?

Thanks Rob for sending this!!! The photo is courtesy of Gay Chicago Magazine.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Since Today's Focus Is On Noah...

On Today's show, he confessed that he "did it" in this restaurant's bathroom. I could not locate a photo of the bathrooms at NoMi, but I found these shots of the restaurant.

Classy place to boink!

For more info on a classy place to "do it," go to:

Blast from the Past 2 - Old Posts By Noah

This comes from November:

I have this great idea. Picture it-- Showgirls 2 (... Showgirls Too: the Wreckening??? we'll workshop the title...)

(mmmm... sooo greazy)

Ok, so here's the story. Nomie flees Vegas right? She heads straight to LA to pitch her crazy life story be made into a movie. Now, the instinct here is to go campy, but trust me it will be way better if everyone is deadly serious. Ok, so she's in LA, and convinces MGM top brass to greenlight this puppy (through her feminine wiles of course ... she just fucks the shit out of him in the hollywood hills or something) and then casting begins for her movie, which will be called Showgirls. The cast of the original movie returns and plays themselves (yay! Gina Gershon will have some work!), and she works *ahem* very closely with the engenue who will play Nomi. There will be this ultra hot lezbo scene where Nomi has sex with "Nomi" on set. Nomi becomes more and more jealous of "Nomi's" attention, and decides the day of shooting (which happens to be the most expensive and elaborate scene) she wants to star in her own movie and pushes "Nomi" down a giant marble staircase. They take a gamble and hire Nomi.

my idea for Showgirls 2: A+

Blast from the Past -- Old Posts Made by Noah

I googled "Tammy"

This is one of the pictures that came up. yeesh.

Tyne After Tyne

Loretta Swit with Tyne Daly in Cagney and Lacey:The TV Movie. Did you know there was a TV movie before the actual show. And there were two Cagney's before Sharon Gless.?
But only one Tyne Daly as Lacey.
I was googling Tyne Daly. What? Jealous? And I found out she has a web site.
Click Here to go to the official Tyne Daly site.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Angry Mob Demands To See Suri Cruise

Christie Brinkley Separates From 4th Husband (Who Is Not Billy Joel)

By the looks of this shot, that's not all that is separating.
Christie -- You're an Uptown Girl. Why all these marriage woes?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Slut Baby's Long Lost Mother

This is from Rob Lindley.
He pointed out that she even has a megaphone.

Work is crazy today

I'm going to stress eat some Munchkins!

two weeks left bitches!
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