Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Ray-ray: Chop and drop your way into my heart.

Ok, so we all have a lot to discuss about Rachel Ray. I think I'm in the minority here, but I really like her. Sure sure, She has a really annoying laugh. she tips 15% on her 40 dollars a day show. She would be fucked without chicken broth in a box. And lets not forget her really really annoying laugh.

Cleaning dishes and junk makes me horny and stuff

That all said, I really love her! My jaw drops at least twice during a given show because she is so incredibly retarded. She says some of the most rediculous, wierd things such as "a garbage bowl is a girl's best friend", and "abbreviates" olive oil by saying "EEEVEE-OH-OH extra virgin olive oil" all without any irony. There's something about her that is really compelling, and i think its because she is probably exactly as she presents herself on TV. She keeps it real yo; she acts and says things that are retarded because she IS retarded. I have to love her for that.


Anonymous Sara said...

TiVo ruined Rachael Ray for me. If I only saw her every now and then, I would adore her. But back when 30 Minute Meals started, I seasoned pass that sucker and would get like 47 episodes a week on the TiVo. And if it's on the TiVo, YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT. It's the rule.

So I OD'd. And she soon became a church rummage sale of stupid catch phrases. (Yum-o! Carrot overboard! Dee-lish!)

And the EVOO thing is *extra* lame because she always follows it by saying "extra virgin olive oil". That's not abbreviating, Rachael!!

Huh. Didn't know I had all that in me on this topic. Sorry about that. As you were.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous licoricepirate said...

You know that guy Tony Bourdain from "A Cooks Tour"?

he hates rachael ray.

Somewhere, there's an article where he bashes her for having no talent & trying to take over Food Network & related shizz.

haha I say "ee vee oh oh."

kinda like Wanda Wisdom made me say "progrum."

ugh. baghghhghnng.g.

7:12 PM  
Anonymous Ina Garten said...

i bet she gives good bj's.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous bobby flay said...

she sure does!

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Cliffy said...

I love, Love, LOVE Racheal Ray... I Love 30 Minutes Meal, 40 Bucks a day, and travel tip show she is doing. She just did one for Portland, Oregon, where I live right now. I cannot get enough of her. She is new gay Hug... wait... she is married.

11:00 PM  
Blogger RcktMan Rick said...

I personally like her BJer voice.


1:28 AM  
Blogger Robbie said...

I find myself watching her - but pretty much want to hit her in the face with a garbage bowl.

I just watched her "hold the Mayo" episode.

And her intro before she actually got behind the counter made me howl. She was gesturing every 3rd word with total thumb-to-the-chest-"dis guy" kind of movements. It looked like a Children's Theatre production or a used car salesmen.

And really Rachel? No more stories about your family. They sound like dirty castoffs from the Sopranos.

yet I watch her

8:57 AM  
Anonymous RedBackFur said...

Ja-Heezus....! I never thought of Sieving My Spooge, but hell, if Rachel can do it (and drip it down her thigh), perhaps I should try that new fetish.

2:07 PM  
Blogger The Dana said...

I can't tell you how many times I have had conversations regarding this post.

Unfortunately, the bitch once made this awesome one-pot chicken-n-biscuits dish, and I have been afraid to make her dead to me ever since, even though her mannerisms and vernacular are vomit inducing.

P.S. Word to hating the EVOO - what a retarded acronym. Why doesn't she say GB for the Garbage Bowl? Now that's a savings.

2:25 PM  
Blogger kelbell188 said...

I find myself unable to turn away when I watch her. She always seems like she's juuust about to go over the edge, but she doesn't, and instead goes right back to making her lo-mein using spaghetti (like, are you serious?)

9:55 PM  
Anonymous Debauched Patrick said...

I loathe Rachael Ray. Her voice is like nails on the chalkboard to me. I literally stab at the tivo remote when she is on. And the god damn thing tries to record her all the time because I record so many Food Network shows. Her laugh...and those horse teeth! Put a feed bag on her quick!!

8:01 PM  

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