Friday, June 30, 2006

Even these jeans are too tight for Scott...

What in holy Hades is that man thinking? It doesn't even look right downstairs. The only way I would excuse that outfit is if he is a back-up dancer for Madonna. That's it. Maybe even Taylor Dayne. But that is as far as I will go.

Thanks to Nikolous for this great shot.

What do you think it smells like in that room?

Pammy Anderson showing her "bads" to get PETA some publicity.

Star Jones on Larry King

In this shot, Star explains to Larry how to eat an entire rotisserie with a stapled stomach.

Ok chazzy

You little muff diving rotund butterball! You helped mommy clean up Mr. Boa Jangles poopies didn't you?? you are such a good girl yes you are! Mommy's going to get you some num-nums because you were so good.

Mommy, Can We Go to Chucky Cheese's Tonight? PLEASE!!!

I'm Back and Junk

It's America's Favorite Klepto - NONESY RYDER. I want to say nasty things and make fun of her, but I hope she can come back in style. She has been trying for a couple of years --playing it low-key, probably stealing things $10 or less so as not to stir suspicion.

She has got a couple films in the (fan) can and maybe one of them can show us the Winona we fell in love with in "Beetlejews," "Heathers," and "Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael." (woops, scratch that last one)

This is a shout-out to you NONESY. Don't muff it up.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Another Southwest Flight Attendant

This is a co-worker of Pinka's at Southwest Airlines. Her name is Sandra and she has also been with the company since its inception.

What I love about her is the hair. You know this is her trademark and she has been wearing it like this for 35 years.

She is so hot she could be in a White Snake video.


I don't go anywhere without medical-grade knee high socks. Where are my Merits? God, I need a smoke.

Too Much Qdoba!


This pic was sent to us by Rob -- he is the one doing the shocker in the photo.

If you look closely, you can see Gubanatorial Cnndidate and PNS Explosion Regular Judy Baar Topinka on the float. She is the red head on the back of the float.

Do you think the curtains match the carpet?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Funny Caption contest

The winner will receive a month's supply of insulin.

Look at My Harper Bazaar's

Hey Y'All. I got a bun in my oven.
There aren't air-brushes big enough to clean up her mess.

Mark Your Calendars

for our LISTENER PARTY on Friday, July 21st at Spin.

I Miss The Old Star Jones

Don't Jews?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

whoops, SBTB repost.

um, who put that asswipey dancehall music in there in that post. Now THIS is what'I'mtalkin'bout Willis

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so 80s??

Dick Pound

That is this guy's name. He is the Chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency -- an organization that is at the heart of the whole Lance Armstrong fiasco.

I saw his name in an article and thought it was a joke. C'mon Dick -- you gotta change that name to Richard or Rich or Rick.

So when his name gets alphabetized, it reads: "Pound, Dick." Indeed!

since we all enjoyed that last Saved By The Bell post

I wore a day-glo g-string in high school too.

Where's My Wrought Iron Soup Ladel?

What do you think some of the recipes are for?
And why does she look photo-shopped in?
Thanks Rob C. for sending this one.

Fingerblast Party in Omaha!

Scott and I went to our friends' -- Annie and Kevin -- wedding in Omaha. We decided to stop by Tiff's place for a fingerblast party. Jealous?

Monday, June 26, 2006

July 21st is my last day at my "real" job

Im going to teach yoga full time!
Im so exited! IM SO EXCITED!! IM ... So ... scaaaared!!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Two in the PINKA

Saw this on the Southwest Airline page. She has been with the company for all 35 years of its existence.

Linda Pinka (known fondly as Pinka), Flight Attendant

What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you at Southwest?
A drunken passenger passed out in the rear lavatory, and when we went to "rescue" him, he had his head in the toilet. We grabbed his hair to lift his head out of the toilet, only to end up with a handful of toupee that had been stained blue from the toilet water!

The Three Faces of Cher

Happy, Laughing Cher

Forlorn, Distraught Cher

Seepy, Pensive Cher

Capitol Hill or (my) Bust

Cher-Bear is really serious about this helmet-thingy for the troops.

This pic is of Cher embracing Dr. Bob Meaders prior to a House Armed Service Committee hearing on Capitol Hill on the use of combat helmets, vehicle armor and body armor by ground forces in Iraq.

Despite the seriousness of the visit, you know that no one would have protested if she wanted to belt out "Believe." No one!

Wedding Bells Will Be Ringing...

for my friends Annie and Kevin this weekend. Tonight, I will be schlepping out to Omaha to witness their nuptials. I have asked if I can also witness their wedding night coitus too. They have not gotten back to me about that one yet.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I just sharted. Seriously, pinch me, because this must be the most awesome dream ever.

Hey Slutbaby, be sure to check out my line of chainmail dydies, hooww.

The Crypt Keeper's Mistress Makes Rare Appearance

For the love of Dios, Nicky! Do you really need all that Botox to get parts. You are a g-d Oscar winner. I think you will still get work even if you have a wrinkle or two.

Hair by Edward Scissorhand.

Uptown Squirrels

Last night, I was flipping thru the channels and stumbled upon the shit sammy called "Uptown Girls" -- starring Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fann(Can)ing!

Granted, I did not watch the entire film and I really don't know the plot, but the few minutes I watched were abysmal.

I happened upon the movie during a montage of clips showing Ms. Murphy's character adapting to her new life as a money-less nanny. She burned things, slipped on things, broke things, and blew up the wisps of her bangs about 42 times.

I didn't know it was possible to hate something more than Ms. Fann(Can)ing, but it is. And its name is Brittany Murphy.

I think she might be a bit touched.

Look at THESE!

[in high, shrill voice] Hi Guys! Take a look at these! Look at 'em! Gotta go onesies! Bye!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Oh Holy Hell!

I turn my head for two seconds, and you're already going twosy in the new tracksuit mommy bought you with Farewell Tour money.

Slut Baby Has a Sponsor

She has only done a couple shows, but she has inked a deal with a rice company to sell her own brand of Dirty Rice.

So pick it up at your local grocer and tell them Slut Baby sent ya'!

THANKS to ANDERS for this photo.

Hey Mommy! I Wrote A Screenplay! Can I Have A Grilled Cheese Sammy for Lunch Now?

WRECKS -- one our listeners - sent us a press release announcing the news that America's #1 Lesbian has written a script for TV movie! I bet mommy is so proud of her sapphic sage.

Here is the intro to the release:

"LOS ANGELES - June 20, 2006 - here!, America's premium gay television network, announces the development of "In The Name of Love," a here! original film written by Chastity Bono and Garth Belcon.

"In The Name of Love" is about an influential Hollywood lesbian who is troubled by the steamy sexual dreams she's been having lately - dreams about a man. Meanwhile, her straight best friend is about to have her first-ever lesbian experience. "In The Name of Love" turns the "coming out story" upside down as it takes a hilarious and controversial look at labels and assumptions on both sides of the gay/straight divide."

Nothing Comes Between Nelly & Her Pantaloon Bloomers

This pic reminds me of Lil Orphan Annie's bloomers. You 'member the ones she wore in the 80s film. I tried to find a pic of Annie in her blooms, but did not have much success.

Rob Lindley hypothesized that Aileen Quinn kept slipping two-sies out of her skirt during her big tap scenes with Anne Reinking. And Ms. Reinking would not tolerate it and insisted that the director have the young actress fitted for diaper-like pantaloons. To keep her orphan turds where they belong -- in her bloomers.

I wonder if the same thought holds true for Nelly. I bet it makes it easy to do a show. She can just pinch one out and keep performing.

Oh No, Ms. Kidman. Oh No!

Monday, June 19, 2006


My new favorite website is Its just pictures of really really cute puppies and kittens and rabbits.

Devin looked at this and called it our first born foodbaby.

Salon Perm?

No. Ogilvy Home Perm. Jealous?


Here it is! Pics of the real Tiffany Towers. This is an apartment complex in Omaha. And serves as the inspiration for Noah's slutty character of the same name.

As far as apartment buildings go, doesn't this one look like the slut in the corner dancing by herself near the pinball machine?


My Brother Mike's Head Between Some Large Hoosums

This pic was taken of him on a recent trip to Vegas. The absurdity of this pic only confirms that we must be related. Good shot. And it was taken by his wife to boot!

Those hoosums look a little like Tiffany Towers's.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Slut Baby's Mother Has Always Brought Me Good Luck

This was sent by Adam W. who thinks she looks like her mommy. Anders D.'s version (the one a couple posts below), and not that creature who rose from the swamp on the site.

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy...

Supposedly these two are in item. Do you think he knows about the time she wet her pants on the Howard Stern show?

Pics Below:

Whoa Jenny!

It shouldn't be that big of a deal. He shot to fame for talking out of his ass.

Friday, June 16, 2006

air quotes

I "scayar" children, I don't "bath" regularly, I haven't been "touched" by my "husband" months, mah career is in the "shitter", im "piddling" away my fortune, I have a nasty speed "habit", I "cut" myself with a broken "Boone's" bottle, my extensions are made from "chinese sex slaves", I have severe "dandrif", my pussy constantly "drips" "yellowish fluid", my hygene is "dodgy" "at best", I have yet to fish out a broken off "hot dog" from my butt from last night's "barn orgy", my thighs look like "cous cous", .... *continues for several hours*

The Man shoves it in unlubed, HARD.

So yeah I'm quitting this dump I call my job in July. And I was researching how much vacation time I get under the assumption that I would get my 40 hours rollover + my 80 hours from this year. Yes, just 80. Anyways, NO, I do not get the 80 hours because The Man wants to diddle my pink love star with the rusty Corn Thrusher of Corporate 'Merica. Apparently we accrue days based on some fucked up math theorem that would have Pythagoras stumped for hours. So I only get half my hours this year when I quit! :) yayzies!! I'm so happy I busted my ass since 2001 for this!!

Lets do a fun reenactment!

The Man: Hey Noah.

Me: what's up guy?!

The Man: oh, not much *clearly trying to hide something behind his back*

Me: oh what's that behind your back?

The Man: um... a... look a basket of kittens!

Me: Oh I love kittens they're all so fluffy and...

The Man: *shoves a double donkey dick unlubed didlo right into my butt*



Look how pretty she is - with all that make-up!
This podcast is gonna make her a rising star!!!

Where Are My Merits?

Against my better judgement, I watched Brit Brit on NBC last night. It went from boring to tragic to brilliant back to boring in a matter of minutes.

First things first, why did she dress like she was going to get her ears pierced at a Claire's Boutique in an Alabama mall? I know she is pregnant, but that is no excuse with the amount of money she has -- which is around $100 million. That is a lot of White Castle.

Look at that bra peeking out. I think she is trying to look down home and normal. She just looks like Christmas trash.

Geiger and I joked that she was crying cuz her gum lost its flavor.

When asked who her inspiration was, she didn't answer Madonna or Kylie Minogue. But rather she went with the puzzling -- GOLDIE HAWN. Granted, Goldie is a treat. Have any of you seen "Best Friends" with Burt Reynolds? It is a gem from beginning to end. But I digress...

Brits - you need to focus on your future. Pound that second kid out, lose weight, and dance your way back into our hearts STAT!
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