Are these two the new stars of "A Shot at Love?"

You know they would make Tila Tequila look like a nun. Filthy, filthy, filthy.

Body Flex video 2: a primer

If the last video was too advanced, try this one and learn the basics.

Want to Know What Gets Between Aretha and Her Calvins?

I really don't know. I am stumped on this one.

Tell us - what gets between Aretha and her Calvins?

Thanks to Ben for sending us this shot.

I Just Got Back from Florida. Here Are Some Pics from My Trip

I went to a bunch of sweet parties. That is Becky in the photo. I am the one in the white belt in this photo.

I showed the crowd my assets. Shortly after this photo was taken, I was gang-raped.


I was wearing a wig that day. I wanted some privacy. I was wearing cocoa butter and boy did I get burned to a crisp.

I'm obsessed...

With Greer Childer.


She was sued because her workouts were so retarded. Her latest infomercial doesn't even say her name because she's probably afraid people will google her. I really love her cheaply made 80s vid-joes. I'm pretty sure there's a whole world of cheap 80s workout videos out there.

Kind of like this:



What? No cool down? Why is Victoria Principle in front of class next to the instructor? Are there two instructors? Is the class comprised of like, 4 people? Does anyone know what this is from?? (Dallas?)

Aretha was on Emeril - OLD NOAH POST

While Noah is away on vacay, I thought it would be fun to use some of his old posts on the blog. Kind of a "BEST OF" if you will, and I know most of you will.



I LOVE FoodTV. I cant get enough. Ray-ray, check. Tyler, check. The bouncy cheap Jew, check. Ina "chunky-toes" Garten, check. The crazy blonde bitch with the low titties that uses ranch packets in every recipe, check. Paula "two stee-ucks uf buhtter", check. I could watch Unwrapped all fucking day. Yeah, I dropped the f-bomb, jealous? I love them all. Except Emeril. I just find his machismo and bamming grating. Howeves, Aretha Franklin was on last night and he made her pork chops slathered with herbed cheese and some kind of gravy thing... I wasn't listening. I was watching Aretha pack down the food. Then, THEN!, she was asked to fix her famous peach cobbler and got up from her chops, but continued chewing on a hunk of pork for the entire peach cobbler demo. Just swallow your food bitch..Er, i mean, Queen of Soul.

I Know Mama Grape Would Love Cheesy Bites

We ordered these last night while taping the show. They are coated in garlic (butt)er and filled with diarrhea-inducing cheeze.

But they had me at hello. This kind of "Hello":

Dip my balls in it.

Hi my Pretty pet. So shiny. SO shiney! Yes you are! Hehe! You're naughty too! Have you been bad? Are you a bad Paszki? I'm going to poke you. Pokey poke poke. Just poke the dickens out of you, you little bad pastry. You are bad! Bad!! BAD PASZKI! BAD!! YOU SLUTTY BAD PASTRY YOU'RE BAD!!!... oh dear. Now look at whatchya made me do. Look at this mess. Clean it up. Clean. It. Up. There, there. Now quit crying, you know I'd never hurtchya. There you go, now make me a sandwich and get me a beer.

AMV

Out of shape middle 'mericans with little to no body awareness get drunk at weddings and think they can do dangerous dance moves. Watch the hilarious results.

Lady in red...

I'll never forget the way your fupa looked tonight.