This Picture Makes Me Feel Wierd

Erik G. sent us a link to a Chris Burke site. Click here to go to it. I guess he's got a band and these men are in that band. And I know Chris is an adult, but why does this shot look illegal?

And why does it make me want to go to McDonald's?

Charlotte Rae vs. Joan Collins

In this clip, Charlotte (Dia) Rae (ah) calls Joan Collins the "B" word at the premiere of Joan's new play "Legends." It is from "The Insider" with Pat O'Brien so you know it is good journalism.

I promise that every minute of this clip is award-worthy.

Warning, gazing at picture can lead to diarrhea, cramping diarrhea, bloody cramping diarrhea, spattering diarrhea, and/or spattering bloody diarrhea.

SO f'ing GOOD

Patrick's been yapping about 30 Rock for quite a while and I have pretty much ignored his advice to watch it. Which I did with 'The Comeback' too and later jumped on the band wagon about two months too late. So, I have been catching up on 30 Rock, it's hilar!

Bush unveils his "Fingerblast to Freedom" plan for Iraq

Unrelated, Dick Cheney fills underwear with feces.

Who Smells The Worst?

I borrowed this pic from the Gilded Moose. God, talk about a sausage party!

Cuntference Call

Hi Patrick and Noah,

I have some VERY IMPORTANT information to talk to you both about. Can we do a conference call turdnite?



I have to say, although what you see above was the beginning of the joke...it got soooo much better when I searched Google Images a bit more:

Scott Got A New Phone

It will look great with his LIPS phone. Thanks to LurryDean for this one.

Shampoo This!

My new favorite magazine - Instinct - interviewed Tara Reid in the February issue. She waxes poetically on two of my favorite topics - gays and Romania.

On gays:

“All my best friends in the world are gay!” Tara exclaims. “They’re my favorite people in the nation. They dress me nice.”

On Romania: (she is making a new movie called "Incubus" there. another winner!)

“It’s a beaten-up country. You feel like, if you could take helicopters and, like, throw shampoo over the whole country and a little bit of rain – it would look beautiful.”

Four Days To Glory[hole]

Early Show interviewed Mark Kreidler about his new book Four Days To Glory about highschool wrestlers in middle 'merica. He spent 3 months following two corn-fed beef eatin' midwest boys about 18 years his junior, watching them wrestle. Because its about "community."

Mark, you ain't foolin' no one.

Dakota Fanning: 'It's called acting'

I (heart) this squirrel. She's one smart cookie. Now that all the hub-ba-bub has started over her 'rape' scene in "Houndstooth" she has some great little quotes:

"It's not really happening," Fanning said of a rape. "It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything."

Read the whole story here

State of the Union address to 'merica, Congress-- a recap

Sharon Stone's Breasts Finally Get The Recognition They Are Due

Hey y'alls, it isn't just Oscar season. It is also Razzie season. These are the awards for the worst movies and performances of the previous year.

And we are proud to announce that Sharon Stone's "lop-sided breasts" are nominated for WORST SCREEN COUPLE in "Basis In(stink)t 2. God save us if her bush ever gets a nod. Hit the decks!

For the other nominees, go to HERE!

BARB! Get in here and watch me (munch) box!

Here is a video entitled: "Barb Wii Boxing." BARB, BARB! Get in here and help me play this dang video game. And bring some seven-layer bars on the way in. BARB! BARB!

Thanks to Christian for this vid-jo.

MAKE IT DIRTY - Superbowl Edition

THE BEARS

vs. THE COLT(S)

This is gonna be a messy game!

Get Me $100 Million Dollars Worth of Chili Cheese Fries -- NOW!

Forbes just named the TOP 20 Highest Paid Female Entertainers of 2006 and Britney made the list coming in at a whopping $100 million. Which made me wonder -- what does $100 million dollars look like:


LIKE THIS: this shot is classy!


AND THIS: a big kisses to heaven for this shot.


OH AND THIS: nice touch mixing and matching your athletic wear with your unmentionables


Money well spent! Kudos Brits on another glorious year.

PS: I didn't even bother posting the pics of Brit's exposed vag. Cuz those are worth so much more than a $100 million. They are worth more like a DILLION. Right, Ladies?

"Scheeatle hash the besht dilush'nuhl people" *hic*

If you are one of the two peeps in 'Mer'ca who haven't seen this, enjoy!
This would be so much more fun if she just admitted being drunk, or on her darvocet, or huffing paint thinner, or whatever the hell it was she was on. That's the fun thing about being an adult Paula-- you can eat candy bars for dinner, show up to an interview drunk. Whateves. Who gives a shit.

WTF? Mist(y) Connections

So, Charlie turned me on to looking at Missed Connections on Craigslist, which I would highly recommend getting in to the habit of doing. Yes, most of them are boring, but when one like this comes along, it's tote worf it.

********************************************
Busse Woods Friday 2:30p - m4m

Reply to: pers-265275342@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-01-19, 4:02PM CST

You were driving a black pickup truck, GL, shaved head, built, HUNG. You jumped out for a second to drop something in the trash barrel naked from the waist down and HARD!!! If you read this, hit me up and tell me what I was driving, I'd love to see more of that show in a private place dude.

********************************************

Tote Ovary Files: Gwen Stefani

Listen 'Merica, you don't have to golf clap every time she queefs over a retarded Neptunes beat. Why are we all rooting for her?!

Let's Hear It for the GayWad!

This video is fun for a couple of reasons:

-the boy in this vid-jo is clearly gayer than the dickens. And let me tell you I would have been so insanely jealous of him.

-and a young Fergie is in it too -- pre STD's and wetting her pants on stage.

Thanks to Christian for sending it.

Oh no? Oh yes!

*to Japanese storekeep*
"I'll have um... lets see 3, no 4 Hello Kitty vibrators, I would like 1..no lets make it a 6 pack of the used schoolgirl panties, a pack of gum, oh and a boob scarf please."



[via Pink Tentacle by way of TOKYOMANGO]

Who's The Mother, Who's The Daughter - Part Deux

Chazzie Bono or Steven Cojocaru?

Thanks to Steven for this idea.

A New Home for Bradgelina

I don't know why it irks me so much that Brad and Angelina are now living in New Orleans? I'm pulling a Patrick here, but we GET IT, you're humanitarians!! I bet it's pretty easy to do all this when you're white, beautiful and rich. Jeebus.

On a side note - Patrick, 'member hanging out at Pizza Capri (pants) when we went to NOLA?

Auto-Pilot(s)

Anders saw this in the Chicago (Brown) Eye the other day and photo-shopped us into it. I love it cuz the title of it reminds me of the medicine that PNS invented called "Auto-Pilot." Remember that one?

And I love Noah's hair in this shot. He has the thickest head of hair in town and yet Anders photo-shopped hair on him. That is not Noah's hair. It looks like a toupee.

Do You Think They Have Had Any Work Done?

Joan Collins and Linda Evans are doing a play in Chicago called "Legends." I almost want to go to it, just in hopes of a cat fight. A la the Dynasty days. Like the ones below:



God, I love their stunt doubles. They don't even try that hard to mask the fact that men are playing their parts. I think Patrick Swayze is Linda Evans's stand-in.

Faguette

The Golden Globes were on last night -- as a lot of you may already know. For me the lowlight of the night was the red carpet on E! with Ryan Seacrest and Guiliana Depend(si). I miss Joan Rivers on E! -- even Missy too. I know they are on TV Guide Channel, but I always forget that they moved. And so I am stuck watching this 'mo for two hours.

And he is WRETCHED. I can't stand all the sexual innuendos he makes with respect to loving women. He told Eva Longoria to stop showing her backside cuz it was making it hard for him to concentrate. Yeah, Ryan -- YOU. LOVE. VAGINA. I get it. You aren't gay.

He also kept saying OVER and OVER again that he knows nothing about fashion. Then why are you the host of this show? Isn't it all about the gowns and stuff? And aren't you wearing a tux that costs thousands of dollars? You are such a gay-wad, Ryan. And I don't mean in the good way.

AM I MISSING SOMETHING?!!?

Why is anyone wearing these!? I'm sick of these god damn motherfucking ugly shoes!

The Chicago Bears Beat The Seattle SeaBreezes or something last night

Golden Globes are on tonight!

Put 'em on the glass.



[via fourfour.comzies]

If You Love the Smell of Hilary's Muff®...

you will love the smell of "With Love" -- her new fragrance.

This is the photo that goes along with the ad for her new Scent. What do you think it smells like?

Sausage Party

Our other special guest was none other than Margaret Cho!! She was promoting a queer burlesque show in town, and did like a 30 minute stand up routine. It was such a treat. Will the Paris Nails bit ever get old? No. Never.



It was such an bizarro yet awesome evening to see Margaret Cho and then meet Dan Savage all within an hour. I felt touched. And by that of course I mean ree-ree.

Patrick took these shots of her at Sidetrack.

Who's The Mother, Who's The Daughter?

Look who came to our PNS Explosion listener party -- DAN SAVAGE. He was actually there for other reasons, but I will pretend that he came because he loves Starkeesha.

He was so kind. And agreed to take a pic with me. I love that our color scheme matches so nicely too.

Go take a looksie at his writings at The Stranger.

Txt Msg Brkup

This is another video from Kelly - the artist who gained fame from her song about SHOES!

She has created another hit with "Txt Msg Brkup." She/he plays several characters and does a great job at it too. On a side note -- Kelly sort of looks like my friend RJ - in drag of course. If any of you know RJ, tell me if you agree or disagree.

Kisses to heaven to Betty for sending this vid-jo.

35 face balls? Sounds like last year at Fire Island.

The old people getting hit is especially funny to me.

Summer's Beave

French Toast Twist

Patrick has been talking about these Dunkin Donuts' Diabetes Bombs for months and after teaching this morning, I decided to get one. Only thing is, THEY ARE DISCONTINUED!!! So sadzies. I thought they were selling out like crazy.

Warm cinnamony gooey deliciousness, I never knew ye.

Lisa Rinna anticipates acting roles, giant black cock in 2007.

Don't forget I will be on "The L Word" too and junk

Here is a snippet of one of the scenes I am in and junk:

Marlee: God, you have a smoking bod. Do you wanna scissor?

Lipstick Lesbian: Yah, that would be great.

Marlee: Let's lock and load.

Lip Lesb: How did you know what I said?

Marlee: I read lips.

Lip Lesb: My hand was covering my mouth.

Marlee: Not those lips (honk noise, followed by all-night scissoring session)

Breaking: Cybill to munch some box on L Word

We're talking some serious rug chowing people.

Sausage Party UPDATE -- This Friday!!!

I guess COCK-TAIL is closed for repairs.

So we switched the listener party to Sidetrack at 8:00pm.

Hey, Devin and I are still looking for a place to stay for a day or two while in London at the end of March

JOAN Lunden

Oh No!

Oh Lucy Liu! The Cleaner. This is the best you can get in Hollywood? What does my girl, Drew, think? Or Cameron D or Destiny?

I could easily forgive you and the powers-that-be if you shared the poster and top-billing just with Cedric. But when the producers force you to share space with Nicorette Sheridan. Then forget it.

I take umbrage.

Come to Our Listener Party at Cocktail - Friday, January 12th @ 8:00pm

I googled "Sausage Party" and this was first image that popped up (pun intended).

Ernestine & Cher

Thanks to Todd for this vid-jo. And Chassie gets a mention in it too.

Dubya-t's crashing on swingsets

The girl's scream at 1:16 sent me into a fit of laughing.

Call us

Recording a show tonight so call the cum'ment line 206 888 GAYZ. Leave your faggot story, question, or whateves.

I love that on a diet of Chocolate Milk and Mozzarella Sticks...

she can have six-pack abs. I don't think so, Moo Moo. Nice art work, but you don't got us fooled.

Thanks to Dani for this shot.

Pigs in the City

This clip from a "Cagney & Lacey" promo is delicious. I talk about Tyne Daly so much, I thought it appropriate to post a clip with her in it. And since I couldn't find one of her eating an entire shank of lamb, this one from "Cagney & Lacey" will have to do.

Don't blink or you will miss this estrogen suppliment ad at the beginning of this clip.

Thaz' right bitches, I gots myself a wii(eave) today!!

my wii number is 4508 5983 4539 6099 - register mii ;-)

meeeeeeeow!

I want to dip my balls in it!

I haven't seen such an impressive use of ping pong balls since Pats two week stint in Bangkok, oh no!!

Have You All Seen This One?

It is a mockumentary spoofing Madonna's "Truth or Dare." Julie Brown and friends take great pains to recreate sets and costumes from the original. And they actually have some hilarious musical numbers. Some the of the songs include: "Vague," "Party in my Pants," and "Like a Video."

It is not on DVD yet. But you can get it at some vid-jo stores and thru Amazon.com.

Go to the Wikipedia page about this movie. It gives you some facts about Madonna's reaction to the film.

I could not find a YouTube from the movie, so I will give you another clip of Julie Brown. In this vid-jo, she is playing a geriatric Sharon Stone. It looks kind of cut-shop compared to Medusa, but it is still funny.

Spring Breakdown

I hope this movie is funny. Three women try to recreate spring break. Rachel Drach is so f'ing funny, I love her. And Amy Poeler too. Love those two so much, that even having Parker Posey in it doesn't bother me.