A Good Sunday Indeed

Just what I need -- One half of "The Juggs" charging my spiritual batteries.

Bad Moo Moo!

I have millions of dollars and junk and this is what I like to wear.

Is this dress from the Sally Kirkland collection?

Totally Tubular

Anders - you did it again.

If you can't tell, this is our show from the 80s.

I love Noah's pants.

And Tammy Oxenford. It is pretty close to the real thing.

Michelle Made Us Another WORD GAY-ME

Thanks Pink Pie for this one!

Don't Let Her Make "Cutthroat Island 2"

You know who I'm talking about -- GYNA DAVIS.

With her new show "Commander in Queef," she has finally found some success after many years of BIG disappointments. Like "Cutthroat Island," the Stuart Little movies, and The Geena Davis Show. "Member that one? I didn't think so.

She is an Academy Award winner for Christ's sake. And plus, she is a master archer. Not to be confused with Anne Archer from "Fatal Attraction."

The show airs on Thursday nights at 9 CST. And it is very good. I love her lips in it too.

Give it a chance. Please!!! If not, she will make a sequel to "Deepthroat Island." Let me close with some pics from the first one and hopefully you will all come to your senses and tune in.

Like she could even fight in that dress. Ohnoshedidn't!

The 1st Annual Winner of the "I've Seen Better Days" Award goes to:

Mickey Rourke

French and Saunders making fun of Cher

What do you think this room smells like now?

I have been Mystic Tanning Y'All

With summer coming, I thought I better get a head-start on my tanning. So I signed up for one of those Mystic Tanning packages at the shop where Lavert works.

By the bye, he is so good at his job. He was thorough and very professional.

I thought I would include some photos of my results.



This is me after my first Mystic Tanning session. I am starting to darken (and for some reason age). But Lavert assures me that the signs of aging will erase with more sessions.




This is me after the 2nd session. As you can see, the wrinkles are gone. I have a nice brown sugar look. I am very pleased. Plus, my hair is real pretty too. Lavert did it for me for free.



And this is me after my third session. It is a bit more than I am used to, but I think it is kind of fun!

Lady Dorothea's Chortleberries

I LOVE THIS PHOTO SO HARD. If you guys and gals have not listened to episode 10 of the Patrick and Noah Show. Do it now!

We went back to the 1600's with Cher and it was a hoot!

Anders -- you did it again!

It's A Living

I got this list of the inter-nets. These are the stars who are paid the most to sell shit.


PLEASE LET ME KNOW OTHER OMISSIONS FROM THIS LIST:

1 Catherine Zeta-Jones
£11.2m (T-Mobile) aka TITS MOBILE

2 Angelina Jolie - more like St. John's Wart
£6.7m (St John)

3 - Nicole Kidman
£6.7m (Chanel No 5) also the same number as her waist size

4 - Jessica Simpson "i don't get zits and junk when i use pro-active"
£4.2m (Guthy-Renker)

5 - Gwyneth Paltrow
£3.4m (Estee Lauder) i am pretty, damnit. where the hell is apple?

6 - Charlize Theron
£3.4m (Dior) COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DIOR....

7 - Julia Roberts (i don't know what it is, but it must be for her gynormous teeth)
£2.8m (Gianfranco Ferre)

8 - Brad Pitt
£2.2m (Heineken) i have no words for this one

9 - Scarlett Johansson
£2.2m (L'Oreal) look at my tits and listen to my smokey voice.

10 - Penelope Cruz
£2.2m (L'Oreal) "Jew are so crazy"


I think there were some omission from this list.

Omissions include:

-Cher's for "Shoop Spray"

-Carnie Wilson for "Kenny Rogers' Chicken Shacks"

-Sr. Helen Prejean for "OB's Wine-Soaked Tampons (Now in Chardonnay)"

Thanks Anders!

What Happens When You Cross

Alicia Silverstone



and International Velvet

You get:

SJP

Isn't she LOVELY!

All This & Brains Too

That Jordan loves to stick out those dirty pillows.

Whoa Babes

Cher: Hey Karl Lagerfeld, have you seen my lil lesbian angel?

Karl: (in German accent) No, I haf naught.

Cher: What about you HoHan? Have you seen my Chassy, whoa! (licks lips)

LL: ohmygod! i saw her eating out Kate Spade's box.

Cher: Oh Chassy! How many times have I told her to wait until after the party to eat someone's box. She is sooooo grounded - whoa babes (licks lips again),

OMG! Tiff, member' this?

More of the "glamour" "model", Jordan from the UK

How did I not know about her?

Say What?

Did y'all know Brandy is a Scientologist?

I guess she is sittin' up in her room with L. Ron Hubbard.

A Word Gayme from Michelle Pink Pie

Click on image!

Who is this Whore?

I guess her name is Jordan and she is on all the celeb blogs.

God, she knows how to work that chest. And she is at a kid's movie too.

Yucky.

A Job for Becky

Thanks to Emily for this one.

More SUPERman

She can go straight to HELL

Ok Kimora! You are so fabulous. When you soak your feet, your pour champagne into the mix.

I hope the bubbles help file down your cloven hooves

Milk, Milk, Lemonade...

Who knew Superman was into milking?

He makes my no-no zone tingle. And the tingling lets you know it is working.

The Similarity Is Amazing

Do you think the Heat Miser also smokes Newport 100's?

Thanks to Stephen for this pic.

Baby Announcement

Thanks to Jeff for this creation!

I think this will be one gassy baby!

Melanie Griffith Looks Like Shit

What does this movie smell like?

Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayek in a soon-to-be-released shit pile called "Banditas."

I usually ask what a person smells like, but I am gonna shake things up a bit.

What do you think this movie will smell like?

Hillary, my horse face is horsier than yours.

Hey Ass-Shlee -- My Money Makers Look Better Than Yours

Check out this headline

Im not sure what it means, but I think it has to do something with you and me.

Thanks Christopher!

Bobbi Bobbi Bobbi

I usually don't post pics of teenage girls on this site, but I couldn't resist posting this one.

If you have ever seen The Bobby Brown Show, you will know that she looks pretty good in comparison.

I think there is hope for this one. She is getting thinner, she is doing cheerleading, and, the rumor is that she, is living with Gamma Cissy.

It sort of makes sense that she is being raised by Gamma when you see her on the show. She interacts with Whits and Bobby like they are a crazy aunt and uncle.

Oh precious Bobbi - don't turn your life into a Heartbreak Hotel like your mamman and pappan.

Fine, You're Straight. If you want us to believe it that badly...

Did anyone see the interview of Tom Cruise with Diane Sawyer on Friday? It wasn't anything like his fiascos on the Today Show or Oprah's show, but it was still ridiculous.

It actually started with him flying Diane Sawyer in his plane. On the nose of the plane was written: "Kiss Me Kate." BARF!

They land and put the plane in a hangar and do the interview in front of the f'ing plane. So we have to see "Kiss Me Kate" for the whole friggin interview.

Ok, Tom. You win. You're straight. You love her so much you put her name on a plane. Fooled us. We were wrong. You were right. You love vaginas, you really, really love vaginas.

A side note - Diane's lighting was out of this world. She almost looked like she was in heaven.

Julia Roberts Holds The Entire Cast of Her New Play Inside Her Mouth

Hammered Shit Mondays

with Fergie...

Do you think she takes those down after Christmas?

Our very own autographed Lisa Whelchel pic ;-)

Cher doing a Stevie Wonder medley with the Osmonds...

... somehow doesnt quite reach the camptastic hights of her Beatles medley with Tina Turner and Kate Smith, but this is still pretty great.



I love that Bob Mackie put her in an afro, because hey, its Stevie Wonder.

Moo-moo

Pat got me on a moomoo tip.



This clip brings a smile to my face. She's just so effortless and breezy when she hits those insane notes. And all the people backing her up are having so much fun and so amazing (check out David Cole on the piano). I feel like I do when I watch the Body Electric number from Fame.



I still love mimi now

But there was something so optimistic about her back in the early 90s.

Don't Noah's New Extensions Look Great?

Nothing Gets Between Moo Moo and Her Calvin Klein's

She loves this pose.

Does she have a fan blowing wind through her hair?

One extra shot -- Moo Moo in her bath robe.

Its Photoshop Phriday over at Somethingawful.com!

These always kill me. This week's theme is scented candles.

sad day for the blogosphere

Mel (pictured above) has removed her blog from the internets, the fantastic Meme on the Make. Originally it was a diary of all her crazy dating adventures with wierdos she met, and being an ex-dyke and like, totally loving cock now. Anyways, she started dating a guy who bangs her all hard, and she got nervous and deleted her blog. I'll miss it. She is really fucking funny. Make a new blog Mel!!