Monday, April 17, 2006

Fine, You're Straight. If you want us to believe it that badly...


Did anyone see the interview of Tom Cruise with Diane Sawyer on Friday? It wasn't anything like his fiascos on the Today Show or Oprah's show, but it was still ridiculous.

It actually started with him flying Diane Sawyer in his plane. On the nose of the plane was written: "Kiss Me Kate." BARF!

They land and put the plane in a hangar and do the interview in front of the f'ing plane. So we have to see "Kiss Me Kate" for the whole friggin interview.

Ok, Tom. You win. You're straight. You love her so much you put her name on a plane. Fooled us. We were wrong. You were right. You love vaginas, you really, really love vaginas.

A side note - Diane's lighting was out of this world. She almost looked like she was in heaven.

8 Comments:

Blogger Eric said...

I sat up close to Diane Sawyer. What is left of her, anyway. I'm convinced the rest of her is in Heaven already, along with the bodily dumpings of Joan Rivers, Kenny Rogers and that crazy Cat Lady from New York.
And Tom=gay. I mean, come on, his hetero love plastered on the plane is from a musical. By Cole Porter. Big, fat, raging closet-case. It's a cry for help!

2:05 PM  
Blogger BIDDLEBM06 said...

CHORUS FROM THE NEW HIT SONG "I AM NOT A HOMO" FROM THE SOLD OUT BROADWAY SMASH OF THE SAME NAME STARING TOM CRUISE!!

SCENE: A hanger where just the nose of a plane is visable - etched on the plane are the words "KISS ME KATE" - one spotlight on kate and tom and pne on the plane.

TOM: "I love you kate - I swear it's so - don't believe them i'm no homo! I planted my seed - in your belly it grows - i've screamed it on oprah and sawyer's shows! aiken, valanche, elton and ellen - they're not my pals to you again i'm tellin' (UGH THAT'S BAD!) - as my plane now clearly does show - i swear to you kate I AM NO HOMO.

Immediately after this line the swarm of 40 oily beefy men in plane mechanics uniforms - storm the stage - carry tom into a kick line and repeat the chorus over and over until they all explode into a whirlwind of pink glitter and shoop shoop spray!

Get your tickets now because I think i smell a Tony!

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

i smell something that is for sure.

and it ain't pretty.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

That's just the shoop shoop spray, Patrick. After awhile, it sort of smells like backed up industrial toilet.

7:40 PM  
Blogger amandarama said...

It's a lovely picture of two very, very creepy people.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous erik said...

What if it got worse? MUCH MUCH worse: According to the Sun, Cruise plans on eating the placenta

Mwahahahahahalolbbq

10:47 PM  
Blogger J. Michael said...

well... I think they look pretty... just me.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

I agree, it is a beautiful photo. Too bad those two are in it.

And I think Tom loves Katie as much as he loves the mother of his child. One she has weened the baby, he will kick her out.

3:28 PM  

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