OK! Magazine is a big fat liar.

'Member when they were all, Oh, Britney scooted her ass on the dress and Jamie Preston Scott or whatever pooped his diedee on the Leica camera lens and Britney ate fried chicken?? 'Member they said that their weren't any good pictures from that??!? 'MEMBER?




LIES. Clearly, she is being set up people.

Is Kevin Federline there plaze?

Hi Kevin, its Britney. ...No, Spears. ANYWAYS, I wanted you to know that I just went on a shoppin' spree at SPENCER'S GIFTS at the Malibu Mall, what-what! Jealous!? Don't even answer 'cause I know y'are, ok? Can I see mah ding-dang kids now plaze?

Blackout

Holy shit this cd is really good. Its Pro-tooled and Auto-tuned within an inch of its life; it makes Believe sound unplugged.

Lets celebrate with a trustfall.


Weeeeeeee

"Gal Dern that judge! I even made a podcast! Can i have mah kids back?"

"This weeks episode is about how to make your vulnerable kids not like dangerous things. For example, I call mah cigaray'ets 'Lollipops' so little Sean Prestin and Jerry... 'er, Jimmy, whatever, won't want them! I also call this jug of Draino 'Magic Fun Juice' because it makes mah hair extension clogs in mah bathtub go away. And thee'is raht here Smith and Wesson .45 semi-automatic is called 'Magic Lollipop'!!! Basically lots of variations on lollipops and juice or whatever! Can I have mah keeyuds back now!?"

"The court'll have ta give mah kids back after they see how momma threw a ding dang pool party!"

"I'm-a git mah Sean Preston and the other one, Whats-his-face back the only way I know how y'all..."

"Mamma's comin'!"

LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS!

I got this vid-jo from Towleroad and it tickles me. It is Tyra giving Brit Brit a piece of her mind.