Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I'll Take the Betty White

This is hilar! If I didn't know better, I would think that the Anders came up with this graphic, but it's downright for realz.

Here is the e-newsletter that comes along with it (sent to someone in my office):


Granted, the drapes match the rug. But the color scheme just ain’t working — maybe because the whole matchy-matchy look is so last season. (Apologies, LiLo.)

Time to refurbish your special no-no place with a jazzy fall color: Put your triangle’s tresses in the capable hands of Betty, the first dye created especially for your down-there hair. The easy-to-use formula is safe enough for your sensitive lady place. And if your orchid is wilting, fear not — Betty easily covers grays.

Decorate your fuzzy éclair with a variety of icings, like subtle auburn, blonde, brown, and black. Not enough options (or unsettling euphemisms) for ya? Feather your nest with FunBetty, an oh-no-she-didn’t pink. The dripless formula guarantees that no dye will sully your pee-pee’s teepee, and your new plumage is more than certain to attract plenty of male attention.

So go on and wash that man right into your hair.


Patrick, are you doing freelance writing behind our back?

Click on the photo above to go to the site.


Blogger Robbie said...

fuzzy eclaire?

pee-pee tee-pee?

who wrote this, Rachel Dratch?

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

i wish i wrote this. it is brilliant.

9:09 AM  
Blogger brett said...

i just hope the men's line is called "bruce" and is safe for pubic, scrotal, and crack hair.

oh, and don't think i didn't notice the jab at la lohan. ch'all better not walk down any dark alleys.

9:31 AM  
Blogger asspanther said...

4. What if I want to go back to my original color?
No problem. Just use the betty kit that most closely matches your
original color.

5. Will it rub off on my underwear?
No. Betty color will not rub off on underwear or other clothing, nor will it
rub off with physical activity.

6. Can men use it, too?
Absolutely. We have found many men want to cover their grays
down there, too.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Emerson said...

My orchid is wilting. =(


12:39 PM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Fuzzy éclair may be the funniest thing that I've ever heard! And coverig it with icing just sounds dirty.

5:56 PM  
Blogger Noah said...

I want some brown apple betty if you know what I mean.

6:24 PM  
Anonymous licoricepirate said...

lulz that sounds so Patrick-ish.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Chus said...

This is what I think: Betty White

5:05 AM  

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