I'll Take the Betty White

This is hilar! If I didn't know better, I would think that the Anders came up with this graphic, but it's downright for realz.

Here is the e-newsletter that comes along with it (sent to someone in my office):

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Granted, the drapes match the rug. But the color scheme just ain’t working — maybe because the whole matchy-matchy look is so last season. (Apologies, LiLo.)

Time to refurbish your special no-no place with a jazzy fall color: Put your triangle’s tresses in the capable hands of Betty, the first dye created especially for your down-there hair. The easy-to-use formula is safe enough for your sensitive lady place. And if your orchid is wilting, fear not — Betty easily covers grays.

Decorate your fuzzy éclair with a variety of icings, like subtle auburn, blonde, brown, and black. Not enough options (or unsettling euphemisms) for ya? Feather your nest with FunBetty, an oh-no-she-didn’t pink. The dripless formula guarantees that no dye will sully your pee-pee’s teepee, and your new plumage is more than certain to attract plenty of male attention.

So go on and wash that man right into your hair.

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Patrick, are you doing freelance writing behind our back?

Click on the photo above to go to the site.